Saturday, October 11, 2008

Wake up and smell the cheaters!

I was listening to Good Morning America on my way to work and they did a piece on high school students cheating on tests. GMA shared that on youtube students can go on and learn how to cheat from other students. There are even videos and downloads to help. They actually spoke to a student who operates one of these sites. They asked if she thought it was wrong to teach students to cheat and her response was "I don't tell them to cheat that's their decision." Typical answer. So of course my first thought was where are this child's and I repeat "child's" parents. Where are they when she is giving a course on cheating. It's ironic the student is "teaching" the students how to cheat the student has become the teacher. In the time it takes to learn how to cheat a student could of just studied. But that's a topic for another time. So where are the parents? You ask why do the parents get the blame for everything? Because it's our fault, that's why. Let's talk here. When the parent calls out from work, changes their voice to sound sick, lies to their boss, what do you think the child is thinking. You can think about that for a moment yourself. When the parent cheats on income tax, finds a wallet and keeps the money, lies to their friends, "can't make it today not feeling well" or phone rings, "tell them I not here". Should I continue or do you get the point? What lessons are we teaching our children? Children do what they see? Do you get this? If you do it they will do it? So, we now have all this concern about students cheating. GMA said and I quote, "75% of all high school students are cheating." 75% is outrageous! Out of 100 students only 25 of them are not cheating. If you are a parent reading this and you have lied in front of your children. Right now today go apologize, tell them you were wrong, tell them it is wrong to lie. Tell them you had an awakening and want to change your ways. It's never to late, never, to begin to do things differently. Parents, be honest and ask yourself if you're raising a chump or a champ? If the answer is chump then do something about it. Today! Ciao (chow)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

surprise ending

I said a few blogs ago I would address "training" again. Here goes... some helpful training tips, and this blog has a surprise ending.



1. A well-behaved, well socialized child learns lots of class and diplomacy from early training.

2. Training lays the foundation for learning that will serve him and you for the rest of his/her life.

3. There are resources for you before unwelcome and inappropriate behaviors.

4. Wait before exposing child to high risk population. It should be a controlled setting with other healthy children where the risk is quite low.

5. Handle child gently, no strong verbal reprimands.

6. Environment promotes calmness



If you've been reading my blogs...you'll remember me saying the first 3 weeks of a baby's life is mostly sleeping and at 3 weeks it all ends. Read on...



7. First three weeks a baby's activities consist primarily of eating and sleeping. This is the neonatal, or newborn, period. It seems not much is going on in the brain but early neurological stimulating exercises, such as holding them, turning them over and exposing them to minor temperature changes can benefit. At three weeks of age they show significant improvement in their ability to learn.

8. Children need exposure to many things, household sounds such as blenders, vacuum cleaners - anything they might need to deal with on a regular basis for the rest of their lives.

9. Children are tiny, fragile, and vulnerable, but this doesn't make them any less interested in living. Their natural curiosity can border on reckless, which means child proofing your humble abode from the ground up. Hazards like electrical cords, medications, houseplants, and cleaning products should be stored out of reach.



I can go on and on and on but enough with the tips, everyone of the above tips were taken from a DOG magazine "Yorkshire Terrier Puppy's". 129 pages of how to train and take care of a new puppy. Thus...the surprise ending. All I did was replace the word puppy with the word child or baby. Am I comparing a puppy to a baby. Of course not. Just trying to make a point here. If I were to bring a puppy home and didn't take the time to get him on a feeding schedule, teach him to potty outdoors, not to bite, when to sleep, etc., what would I have? A puppy that would grow into a selfish, spoiled, adult dog that even his owner would have a hard time loving. No different with a child. Some of you might take offense of the puppy/child comparison but I truly am only trying to show you how important it is to train your children. "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. If the world has enough sense to publish a magazine with 129 pages of puppy training how much more do parents need advice on raising a baby. Maybe 50% of you are educating yourselves and reading but I know for a fact by the misbehaved children I see and hear the OTHER 50% are not. And there is no excuse, you work, you're tired, laundry, cooking, whatever. Invest your time into finding out how to raise a child. We have training for everything. This country spends millions of dollars on athletics, children at 8 yrs of age have personal trainers and yet these very same children rarely say, please or thank you. Help me here people, go buy the book Dare to Discipline by James Dobson. Trust me I am talking from experience the mistakes I made were many, just trying to save you from the same. I have been a mother for 37 years, I know what I'm talking about. I always thought children outgrow negative behavior, guess what, they don't. e.g. if you don't potty train a child they'll be pooping in their pants when their 10! It's the training that stops this from happening. Just like manners they don't come naturally. Putting their toys away there's nothing natural about it, they have to be taught. I'm tired now going to bed. Ciao (chow)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Should I write a book?

I'm receiving numerous emails suggesting I write a book. Take a moment to vote and please be honest. Thanks. Ciao (chow)

18 yr old divas

Listen to me. It's never too late. So, you created a completely materialistic girl! Don't take all the blame, TV just keeps adding fuel to the fire! Peer's do not help the situation! And, this we all know, for years we have been living in materialistic world, and for sure this is nothing new. And everyone of us is guilty, it's just different degrees. We say, how can she spend 1500.00 on a handbag. We all know if we were in a position to spend 1500.00 we would, you're telling a story if you don't agree. If someone is earning lets say 250,000.00 a year and purchases a 2000.00 handbag that's about 1% of their yearly income. Now, if someone is earning 50,000.00 a year any purchases a handbag for 300.00 now lets see that would be about....1% of their income as well. At one time or another we have all gotten caught up in this crazed fashion call it whatever world! I refuse to even bring shoes into this blog! Talk about losing control. Anyway I did it again I went off on a tangent. So Sorry. Here we go...back to the 18 yr old diva, did I say it's not her fault? Yes, I did. So how do we attempt to fix this...there are a few ways you can begin. Teach her how to shop! I repeat teach her how to shop. There are plenty of bargains, go to TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Ross, etc. It's amazing what you can find. I bought a coat in TJ Maxx for 50 bucks and honestly I saw the exact same coat in Strawbridges (they are gone now) for 175. Show her a budget, show her YOUR budget, show her the bills when they come in, show her how much interest you are paying on the credit card (I know that's how most of us shop), LET HER CONTRIUBTE. It is absolutely incredible how different they become when they are using their own money. It truly is like a split personality. If they are in high school and involved in sports, theatre, whatever and there truly isn't anytime for a part time job then make a list of chores they can do for you and put an amount on each chore and you pay them accordingly and from the money they earn they then contribute to paying the bill for the "things" you've purchased for them. Or, lets say they are in college, and you're paying, party's over, bare essentials is what they are entitled to at this point. Summer jobs - a must. This is when they save for the school year when they can't work. Get them involved, stop protecting them, let them see what it's really about. They are old enough now to understand LIFE. Mortgage, cell phone, cable, water, heat, car insurance, food, all of it. Show them the bills, I'm not saying scare the living daylights out of them, just bring them to an understanding that there is a time in everyone's life when we go from our teen years of mommy gimme, gimme, gimme to a young adult. Responsible, contributing (I don't care if it's 20.00 a week, it's something, take it). It is never too late to start! I will write on this topic again soon!
p.s. For all those who have children from 4 yrs. to 18 yrs. take them to the bank with you when you put money into their savings. If you don't have a savings for them as yet, shame on you go right now and open that account. e.g. From birth to 18 yrs saving 20.00 per week would yield with interest about 20,000.00. on your child's 18th birthday. I sure wish my parents would have handed me a 20,000.00 check on my 18th birthday! And this is just a basic savings account!!!!!!
Ciao (chow)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A note to working moms...

If you are a working mom please don't over compensate with your child. Many of you are feeling guilty for working for whatever reason you are working. The reason doesn't matter the fact that your child is in daycare, with a nanny, grandparent, or whatever. Parents are feeling guilty and they are over compensating. Stop buying things out of guilt, stop taking them places out of guilt, you want to buy them something fine, but don't let guilt be the reason. You want to take them on vacations fine, but not because you are trying to make it up to them because you're out of the house 40 - 50 hours a week. It's okay. Is it the best scenario, no it's not. Instead of buying, or taking, let your time together be of a sincere quality. Your children need to know you want to spend time with them because they are important to you. One of the best pieces of advise ever given to me was this, "Play with your children." They are children, and what do children love to do the most? You've got it! Play. Of course they need to play with other children, but trust me who better to play with than the people they love the most in the entire world. Mommy and Daddy. And...playtime should not be teaching time. It's playtime. Get on the floor, roll around, be silly, dance silly, have fun!!!!!!!! And...whenever you can, mommy and daddy should make time for all of you to play together. This to a young child is comforting, bringing security and fun all at the same time. Things are nice and they should have them but never more than they have you!!!!!!!!!! Ciao (chow)

Kudos

Quick blog to give some kudos to all the moms and dads. I've been real tough in my blogs, yes I know. So for this blog (not that any of the you are off the hook), I know how hard it can be at times. So kudos to all of you out there. Ciao (chow)

Undershirts

A few blogs ago I talked about socks on baby's feet, if you missed it go back and take a peek. Today is undershirt day! Let's look at adults first, men wear undershirts or tuck their shirts into their pants, or wear a polo that passes their belt by about 6 -8 inches. At times women wear tank tops under their tops, or a dress, or slacks and a top that also passes their waist line by about 6 inches or so. Therefore, when an adult man or woman lift their arms or bend to pick something up, their belly's or backs are not exposed. Now for a child its a little different, without an undershirt when they lift their arms, bend, stretch, roll on the floor, their little belly's and backs are exposed, so naturally an undershirt prevents this. I'm not talking about 80 degree weather. And yet why do I see tons of babies, toddlers, young children without undershirts. My own nieces, nephew, etc. My very good friend ran a day care from her home. She was so frustrated by children coming without undershirts she actually purchased them in a variety of sizes and would have the children wear them during the time they were with her. They sell undershirts for a reason, go buy some please. Ciao (chow)

whiney whiney whiney

Parents, please when your children whine for what they want, when you can practically put music to their request for a glass of water, your child is whining!! This is so easy to stop, very simply inform them you can not understand them when they speak this way. Have them repeat the request in human form with a please at the end. Continually do this and the whining will stop. That simple. Take some time in the next few days and listen to how your children are making their requests known. I think at times parents don't realize what their kids sound like. Ciao (chow)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Misunderstood

Picture yourself sitting on the beach, it's a gorgeous day, perfect weather. You're looking at the beautiful ocean laid out before you and you notice a boy about 11 yrs old at the water's edge, something about him sparks your interest, why is he just standing there, you realize he doesn't want to get wet, and he's waving his arms in a rather strange way. Then it hits you, he's blind, and the man gently trying to convince him it's only water is his Dad. Your heart hurts for this young boy that can not see the beauty of what you are seeing. You're distracted for a moment and out of the corner of your eye you see a young girl about 8 yrs old approaching the blind boy with a bright yellow pail filled with water and in the next second she throws the water in the blind boys face! The blind boy becomes completely hysterical, the dad in a rage at the little girl is trying to soothe his hysterical blind child. A woman is now on the scene apparently the little girls mother and drags her off the beach. Eventually the blind boys father is able to calm him down and they leave the beach as well. You just sit there thinking just how mean children can be. The entire scene leaves you with questions rolling over in your mind, why did the little girl do something so mean? Was the blind boy ever going to go near water again? Did the father of the boy ever get to tell the little girls mother what he thought about her daughter?

I have all the answers to your questions. This is a true story, it happened exactly as it was told on a beach in Brigantine, New Jersey in 1959. Do you want to know how I know it was true? Okay I'll tell you. I was the little girl in the story and can explain exactly why I did what I did. First, I will answer your questions. The blind boy was my cousin Phillip who was born blind. His father Sammy never forgave me for what I did that day. My mother beat the living tar out of me and I never said a word in my own defense, I didn't care about the beating I got, or the fact that Phillip cried everytime he heard my voice. As the years went by, Phillip eventually learned to love the water, and my mother pretty much forgot what had happened. But Sammy the father never did, he was always civil to me but he knew that I knew it was something he just couldn't forget or forgive and that was fine with me as well. Now, I'll tell you why I did what I did. As far back as my memory will take me it was always important to me that fathers and mothers loved their children. Why was this important to me, why did I need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, sorry but I have no clue. Maybe it was something in my childhood, I truly have no idea. However, what I do know is that I wanted to know if my blind cousins father loved him. Keep in mind I was only 8 years old. That day on the beach when I saw Phillip and his Dad, I watched and wondered and made the foolish decision to find out. I knew throwing the water on Phillip was mean but the answer was more important to me. So I threw it right in his face, can you imagine throwing a bucket of water in a blind boys face! Trust me here when I say if Phillips Dad could have gotten away with burying me alive in the sand he would have. He was absolutely furious. And that was exactly the reaction I was hoping for, if he didn't love Phillip he wouldn't be angry. So guess what, in my 8 year old head I was happy, happy for Phillip, so happy that Phillip's Dad loved him. My mother near killed me herself, I still didn't care, I was happy happy happy - Phillip had a Dad that loved him and I had proved it!

Some of you are wondering if I have a point here, I do. Till this day I'm not sure of what conclusion my mother came to about why I did what I did. When it happened did she ever ask me why I did what I did? Nope. Not once. Did we ever have a heart to heart about why I did what I did? Nope. Never. Granted this was in 1958 and the parents of then were a lot different than today's parents. When your child misbehaves take the time to find out why he or she did what they did. Sometimes the explanation will shock you. Finding out why doesn't excuse a childs behavior, but it does give the parent the opportunity to offer some understanding and wisdom. Ciao (chow)

Manners

Can we talk about manners for a minute or two? Simple little words that make such a difference, for example please, thank you, no thank you, yes please. How hard can it be to teach a youngster these four simple terms. And yet, so many of the young people today have eradicated these words from their vocab. I'm not saying all of them but way more than you or I would care to admit. You know I have to go back to "training." Children are not adults in little bodies, I'm going to say this again. CHILDREN ARE NOT ADULTS IN LITTLE BODIES! Please remember they are children and in Proverbs it states that "foolishness is bound in the heart of a child." So when children do foolish things it is our responsbility to teach them, not scream at them, teach them. Simple enough? So then why don't we? Or rather, why we do think we are teaching them and yet if we take a closer look we are not. Parents spend a lot of time keeping their children busy and this is a good thing, keeps them out of trouble. Sports, art, music, dance, horses, and so on. This is all great, however these very seems kids need to know the basics first. Bump into one of them and let me know if they say excuse me. How many 12 year olds hold the door for someone? I could give a hundred examples but I believe you've got the picture. If little Johnny was playing in a soccer game and punched little Billy in the face on the field what would happen? Johnny would be in big trouble, but if you asked Johnny if he would like some ice cream and he replied, "yea" that would be acceptable. These are two extremes, however, when we teach our children to use words like please, thank you, no thank you, yes please, what we are really teaching them is respect for other people. And when children respect other people they also respect themselves and will be respected by others. It is a wonderful circle being created. Do you understand what I'm saying here? Had little Johnny been taught simple manners from the beginning chances are little Billy would not have gotten a black eye. Let me put it another way, children are not going to know social behavior, unless we teach them, it must be taught. Teenagers answering adults with a grunt. Young children in a restaurant completely out of control. Somewhere along the line we have forgotten simple manners and teaching social behavior. We clothe our children, educate them, fix their teeth, get them their shots, take them to Disney World, give them cell phones, Wii, internet, sports, music lessons, dance lessons, personal sport trainers, boy scouts, girl scouts, art lessons, WOW! Honestly, when is the last time you asked a child or teenager if they would like some ice cream and they answered, yes please. Not yes, but yes please. Take some time and listen to your own children. Are they using the four simple terms? How do they behave in public places? When they're 16 and its time for their first interview for a summer job you are going to wish you had taken my advice. Listen to your children for a few days, if you don't like what you're hearing do something about it. HOWEVER, before you listen to them, listen to yourself, how often are you using the four simple terms? If you want change then change. Ciao (chow)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bare feet

A few blogs ago I talked about common sense, and the more I think about it and look around in my day to day life, it's true, common sense seems to be at an all time low. I'm not quite sure if it's the world we live in. I know many mom's are working, the day is long, blah, blah, blah. However, can someone tell me why the other day while shopping in the grocery store, (I bought a bedroom set, just kidding) but grocery stores sure have changed. Anyway, I'm trying so hard to stay on point here. Why, while shopping I saw a 10 month old in the shopping cart, cute as a button with no socks. This was at 8am, no kidding it was about 60 degrees, I was wearing socks and sneakers, and a jacket. The mom was wearing socks and sneakers and a jacket, the baby was dressed properly for the weather, except, for the bare feet. And to make matters worse I saw her again in the Lenox china aisle (just kidding, about the china) AND she had taken the baby and put her in the grocery part of the cart and the baby was standing up holding on to the side of the cart (this is how I figured she was about 10-11 months old). Standing in that filthy cart with her cute little cold feet. Why? There have been so many times, I've witnessed this. I'm sure baby will be fine, but that's not the point. Is this a lack of common sense, stupidity, (the mother looked intelligent, she bought the same bedroom set I did, just kidding). If my readers would just think about this and look around when you're out, you'll see what I've been seeing for years. Nevertheless, I have no idea why. Please parents dress your babies accordingly. According to what? THE WEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ciao (chow)

Monday, September 22, 2008

Don't look back

When baby first comes home, from the very beginning, day one, mommy and daddy are adjusting. I'm speaking to first time parents. Whether you've been married for 9 months, or 9 years or even 9 days (I hope this isn't the case) your life as you knew it will NEVER be the same! It's over, kiss it goodbye, but oh it's so worth it. Even though you have mentally prepared for parenthood, read the books, the nursery is just about finished, this is what you've waited for, planned for (in some cases). Lets take me for a moment if I may (like who's gonna stop me it's my blog) in reference to the planning part. My husband and I were married in 1970, we found the cutest little apartment where we grew up in South Philadelphia (Go eagles!). The landlord was a decent woman in her seventies but as mean as a pit bull. We were petrified of her, but the apartment was clean, cute and what we could afford (99.00 a month, utilities included). She offered to have all the rooms painted in the colors we liked AND new carpet was going to be installed also in the colors of our choice. Obviously, she wanted long term renters. However, there was one stipulation - NO CHILDREN absolutley no children. We informed her we weren't planning on having children for the next five years, we were going to save money, do some traveling, buy a house, etc. We were married in October and I was pregnant by February. What were we going to tell the pit bull? It took us until June to finally get up the nerve, well actually we had no choice, I was beginning to look like I was on a mega dose of steroids. We did tell her, she smiled, wished us the best, and I will never forget her next words, plain and simple, "Get Out!" So much for planning.

I really did get off track here I have a tendcncy to do this, a lot! Anyway, your life of course will change and honestly some things you will miss, like taking a shower with the door closed, opening a cabinet that doesn't have a child proof lock, walking out the your front door with just your purse, just little simple things that are pretty much GONE! Nevertheless, so worth it.

Don't look back, this is what some of you planned for, however, there are some of you that did not. Either way baby is here, to stay. If you're very young you'll grow together, if you're older share your wisdom. Relax, breathe, enjoy, hide your lipstick. Everything will be okay, love, love, love, your new baby and you're new life. Will you make mistakes, yes! Will it be okay, yes!

I truly loved being pregnant, and I know you are going to think this is nuts, but I loved giving birth, I love being a mother, and I love being a grandmother, I love being a mother-in-law - all the time? No. Most of the time, yes! Ciao (Chow)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

TRAIN (it's a little long, but worth the read)

If you've been reading my blogs you'll remember a few blogs ago I shared a verse from Proverbs, "train up a child in the way he should go....... (if you don't know the rest of the verse you will have to go back and read my blog entitled "The tree").

I did some research on the word "train." Many times we read or hear words and we think we know what they mean and we do to a certain degree, but let's look at this word just a little bit deeper. These definitions for the word train are found in the Merriam-Websters Dictionary.

train - create by teaching, instruction in preparation for a particular role, train by instruction or practice esp. self control, prepare someone for a future role, teach/supervise, train to grow in a certain way.

Parents assume (and I was one of them) children will know what to do or how to do it just because. This is so false. I would like to share a personal story for example.

The first time and I literally mean the first time I had any concept of money I was sixteen years old. Can you imagine? The high school I attended found jobs for students during summer vacation and I was hired as a switchboard operator (the switchboard was the one with the headphones and wire plugs). At this point in my life (remember I was an only child and had OCS (only child syndrome) my mother decides to teach me about money, the entire lesson consisted of just a few words, "Save your money" that was it, beginning and end of the lesson. Periodically she would throw it out there, "Save your money." My first pay check was $167.00 and keep in mind this was in 1967, 41 years ago. I don't remember but it probably covered about 3 weeks worth of work. Well, when I saw that check, I popped a gasket, you would have thought I struck oil. My father cashed the check for me due to the fact that not only did I not have my own account, I didn't even know where the bank was. That money was in my wallet for about 12 hours at most, and you got it, gone, gone, gone, I spent it faster than a speeding bullet! And continued to spend money in this fashion well into my late twenties. Did my parents ever take me to the bank, open a savings account, show me how money add's up when you save, teach me about earning interest, take me to the bank with birthday money, graduation money, NO! they never did. Granted, some 16 year olds know what to do, I wasn't one of them, I needed to be trained in the area of finances. I believe things would be different today if my parents didn't assume I would learn the lesson from just "Save your money". And you wanna hear the really sad part, I did the exact same thing with my own children. You think it would be the opposite, but it wasn't. Do you see how training your child will trickel down to your grandchildren. Don't assume your children will know when, what and where, teach them, show them, supervise them, prepare them for life. Life will teach them but it can be very cruel, if you teach them it will be bathed in love and this is so much easier on them and you! Ciao (chow)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

exciting news!

Great news, in a few short weeks due to the volume of emails I am receiving in response to my blog I will have a website. Stay tuned for more information and in the meantime keep emailing ljscanz@yahoo.com I love hearing from all of you. Ciao (Chow)

thanks nina

Nina, you are such a faithful reader of my blog, thank you. Your comments are very much appreciated. I couldn't have started this without you, your help was an integral part of getting me underway. Love you much, Linda

dick meet jane

People, people, people, i'm speaking mostly to the younger crowd here, those married about 10 yrs or less. Take it from someone who's been married for 38 years, parents especially mom's can get so wrapped up in their children but dad's as well, 20 years fly by and one morning at the breakfast table the mom looks up at her husband and has to say, "Hi, I'm Jane who are you?" And Dick replies, "I'm Dick do we know each other?" It seems outrageous but I know you know what I'm talking about. And this brings us back to my prior posts when baby is a newborn, the four hour feeding schedule, the sleeping through the night in their crib, not your bed. Daytime should always be for baby, not catching up on your scrapbooking! The dishes will wait, the housecleaing will wait, the laundry will wait, I repeat daytime is for baby, however, nighttime is for Mommy and Daddy. Keep the bond you both have going, like a Certificate of Deposit it grows and grows, so should your relationship. Trust me on this one...the children WILL grow up and LEAVE. And guess who's left at home, Dick and Jane who should be more in love at this point than ever before, looking at their children, not mom's children, not dad's children, but THEIR children with pride and joy in their eyes. It takes work, dedication, and committment to each other. And always remember children learn mostly by what they see, when they see both of you loving on each other, it brings security and a great foundation for their own future. A special note to the Dad's. "The best thing a father can do for their children is to love their mother." Read that somewhere but have no idea where, but it's good isn't it? Ciao (chow)

The tree

My grandmother was a little italian lady standing about 4''11" so when I say little I mean it. Her hair was pure white and long not that anyone ever actually saw her hair it was always in a bun at the nape of her neck. Her hands always looked tired as did her face, she was very olive with big dark brown eyes. Never worked outside of her home, and raised 7 children. When we would visit she would kiss my entire face starting at my forehead and worked her away around, I always felt so loved when I was with her. And cook, oh my, the woman could cook, her dinners were incredible! When John was born (my first born) she told me a story, she said, "Grandmom (that's what she called me) children are like trees, when you plant a new tree you can bend it and get it to grow anyway you want, but once the tree is grown it is unmoveable. Bend him in the right direction and remember you don't have much time".
People, don't wait until your child is five or six it will be too late. Teach early, experts over the past 10-15 years tell us consistenly that children from one to five yrs of age are like little sponges absorbing everything they see and hear and are taught. Take this thought with you today, Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it."

24/7

The first three weeks of a baby's life they pretty much sleep 24/7 . At three weeks it ends, forever! Their world now begins to operate like ours, meaning, daytime and nighttime. A day is 12 hours and I will use 7am as their wake up time. From 7am to 7pm your baby should sleep a maximum of 6 hours, I know this sounds like a small amount of time but the key here is to understand the amount of time they sleep in the nightime. From 7pm to 7am they should sleep for 12 hours (except for the 30 minutes when they have their last feeding at 11pm) your baby should be eating every four hours at this point. If you are using the 6, 10, 2, 6, 10 then the last feeding is at 10pm. If you are using the 8, 12, 4, 8, 12 then the last feed is at midnight, 7, 11, 3, 7, 11 last feeding is at 11pm. The 9am, 1, 5, 9, and 1am is not an option, if you think about these times they just don't work the last feeding would be at 1am. I recommend the 7, 11, etc. After every feeding that takes 30 minutes it's time for sleep. Here's the daytime routine feed, burp, change, love and kisses, sleep (7:30am) at 9:30 your baby is still sleeping, wake baby up and keep him awake until 11:00am, from 9:30-11:00am is only an hour and a half. Good time to bathe, or go for a walk, hug, kiss, love on the baby. Lay him in his crib, for 5 or 10 minutes let him look at his mobile, he or she eventually will begin to occupy himself using his senses, sight, sound, etc. At 11am trust me baby is hungry, and tired an hour and a half awake time is a lot for a baby, feed baby, etc., by 11:30am baby should be back in crib. Follow this rountine for the remainder of the day. One more time so I know you understand. 11:30am baby is back in crib, at 1:30 you wake baby up at 3pm you feed baby and then sleep and at 5:30 you wake baby up feed at 7pm and you are done for the day. At 7pm baby now sleeps all the way through to the 11pm feeding, wake baby up at 11pm feed (this should be the quietest feeding you want baby to eat and go right back to sleep this is not the time to stimulate baby) back to sleep and sleeps until 7am. Should baby wake up in the middle of the night, check baby, let baby know you're there, if at all possible don't pick baby up, and DO NOT FEED THE BABY, they do not need this feeding any longer. In three nights your baby will be sleeping through the night. I've done it, it works!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ciao (Chow)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Keep a journal

I really wish I had kept a journal during the time by own children were growing up. I didn't. And anyone out there with children, nieces, nephews from the age of about 3 yrs and up, say and do the funniest things. You really think you are going to remember them but you won't and if you haven't started a journal it's never too late; unless you're me of course and with my youngest now 25 years old what would I journal about, the eating habits of the young and restless! And, all a journal involves is about 10 bucks and a few minutes a day to eventually own something priceless you and your family will enjoy. Don't procrastinate go journal shopping now, you'll be happy you did. There are only a few stories I remember about my children and if I may I'd like to share one of them that I cherish with you now.

We decided to take a trip to the zoo with our three youngest children, Maria was 7, Michael was 5 and Adam was 3. Someone had given my husband a parking pass and as we were driving through the lot looking for an empty spot Michael the 5 yrs old said, "Daddy, there's a spot" my husband replied, "Michael, that spot is for the handicapped people." Michael responded with a very simple, "Oh." We circled around again and Adam our 3 yr old said, "Daddy, there's a spot" as he pointed to the exact same spot. At this point before anyone could say anything Michael the 5 yr old said to his brother, "No Adam that's for the handicapped people we're the Scanzano family." Hope this made you laugh if even just a chuckle. Ciao (chow)
p.s. Really wish I had kept a journal.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Feeding Baby

From start to finish a feeding should take 30 minutes, I repeat from start to finish, whether your baby is breast fed or bottle fed. If you already are in a situation where your baby is taking an hour or longer at a feeding you can make some simple adjustments and turn it around. Just apply the following suggestions. When baby first comes home remember their world is about to change, they've been asleep for nine months! At their first at home feeding 99% of the time after about 5 minutes of eating they fall asleep. Within the hour they are awake and crying, mommy feeds again and rightfully so the baby is hungry. Same thing happens, these times of course will vary but baby is ususally eating every two hours but most of the time even less. Do this for an entire day and guess who's tired? Yes, mommy. Do it for a couple of weeks, guess who is really tired? Yes, mommy. It doesn't have to be this way. Try this. Let's say first feeding is at 2pm. Next feeding is 4 hours later at 6pm. Next feeding is 10pm and so on. Baby now is eating every four hours. You ask how is this possible? I'm about to tell you. At that first feeding (2pm) baby eats for 5 - 10 minutes falls alseep, wakes up within two hours - Do not feed baby. Wait until 6pm do whatever you can to stall - hold them, bathe them, just don't feed the baby. Guess who's hungry? Yes, baby! They will eat longer this time therefore will not be hungry in 10 minutes. Doesn't this make sense? It's so simple. Do this consistently and in just a few days your baby is eating every four hours. In the beginning if you can't hack 4 hours, feed in 3 and a half (no sooner than this). This only takes about a day or two before baby eats like a champ at each feeding. The baby will be hungry when feeding time comes around that first day. They will eat a lot more, resulting in a happier, satisfied baby. If breast feeding the first 3 weeks should be 10 minutes on each breast after that 20 minutes on the right and next feeding 20 minutes on the left. At 3-4 weeks the middle of the night feeding (2am) gets eliminated (I'll get to that at another writing) so the first feeding of the day should be 10 minutes on right and 10 minutes on left and then 20 minutes right, left for the remainder of the day. During the first 10 minutes of breast feeding the baby gets 95% of their milk after that your breast can become a human pacifier if your not careful. Never is their a need for baby to be on breast for more than 20 minutes. If you need more specific information just send your question to ljscanz@yahoo.com Ciao (chow)