Sunday, September 28, 2008

A note to working moms...

If you are a working mom please don't over compensate with your child. Many of you are feeling guilty for working for whatever reason you are working. The reason doesn't matter the fact that your child is in daycare, with a nanny, grandparent, or whatever. Parents are feeling guilty and they are over compensating. Stop buying things out of guilt, stop taking them places out of guilt, you want to buy them something fine, but don't let guilt be the reason. You want to take them on vacations fine, but not because you are trying to make it up to them because you're out of the house 40 - 50 hours a week. It's okay. Is it the best scenario, no it's not. Instead of buying, or taking, let your time together be of a sincere quality. Your children need to know you want to spend time with them because they are important to you. One of the best pieces of advise ever given to me was this, "Play with your children." They are children, and what do children love to do the most? You've got it! Play. Of course they need to play with other children, but trust me who better to play with than the people they love the most in the entire world. Mommy and Daddy. And...playtime should not be teaching time. It's playtime. Get on the floor, roll around, be silly, dance silly, have fun!!!!!!!! And...whenever you can, mommy and daddy should make time for all of you to play together. This to a young child is comforting, bringing security and fun all at the same time. Things are nice and they should have them but never more than they have you!!!!!!!!!! Ciao (chow)

Kudos

Quick blog to give some kudos to all the moms and dads. I've been real tough in my blogs, yes I know. So for this blog (not that any of the you are off the hook), I know how hard it can be at times. So kudos to all of you out there. Ciao (chow)

Undershirts

A few blogs ago I talked about socks on baby's feet, if you missed it go back and take a peek. Today is undershirt day! Let's look at adults first, men wear undershirts or tuck their shirts into their pants, or wear a polo that passes their belt by about 6 -8 inches. At times women wear tank tops under their tops, or a dress, or slacks and a top that also passes their waist line by about 6 inches or so. Therefore, when an adult man or woman lift their arms or bend to pick something up, their belly's or backs are not exposed. Now for a child its a little different, without an undershirt when they lift their arms, bend, stretch, roll on the floor, their little belly's and backs are exposed, so naturally an undershirt prevents this. I'm not talking about 80 degree weather. And yet why do I see tons of babies, toddlers, young children without undershirts. My own nieces, nephew, etc. My very good friend ran a day care from her home. She was so frustrated by children coming without undershirts she actually purchased them in a variety of sizes and would have the children wear them during the time they were with her. They sell undershirts for a reason, go buy some please. Ciao (chow)

whiney whiney whiney

Parents, please when your children whine for what they want, when you can practically put music to their request for a glass of water, your child is whining!! This is so easy to stop, very simply inform them you can not understand them when they speak this way. Have them repeat the request in human form with a please at the end. Continually do this and the whining will stop. That simple. Take some time in the next few days and listen to how your children are making their requests known. I think at times parents don't realize what their kids sound like. Ciao (chow)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Misunderstood

Picture yourself sitting on the beach, it's a gorgeous day, perfect weather. You're looking at the beautiful ocean laid out before you and you notice a boy about 11 yrs old at the water's edge, something about him sparks your interest, why is he just standing there, you realize he doesn't want to get wet, and he's waving his arms in a rather strange way. Then it hits you, he's blind, and the man gently trying to convince him it's only water is his Dad. Your heart hurts for this young boy that can not see the beauty of what you are seeing. You're distracted for a moment and out of the corner of your eye you see a young girl about 8 yrs old approaching the blind boy with a bright yellow pail filled with water and in the next second she throws the water in the blind boys face! The blind boy becomes completely hysterical, the dad in a rage at the little girl is trying to soothe his hysterical blind child. A woman is now on the scene apparently the little girls mother and drags her off the beach. Eventually the blind boys father is able to calm him down and they leave the beach as well. You just sit there thinking just how mean children can be. The entire scene leaves you with questions rolling over in your mind, why did the little girl do something so mean? Was the blind boy ever going to go near water again? Did the father of the boy ever get to tell the little girls mother what he thought about her daughter?

I have all the answers to your questions. This is a true story, it happened exactly as it was told on a beach in Brigantine, New Jersey in 1959. Do you want to know how I know it was true? Okay I'll tell you. I was the little girl in the story and can explain exactly why I did what I did. First, I will answer your questions. The blind boy was my cousin Phillip who was born blind. His father Sammy never forgave me for what I did that day. My mother beat the living tar out of me and I never said a word in my own defense, I didn't care about the beating I got, or the fact that Phillip cried everytime he heard my voice. As the years went by, Phillip eventually learned to love the water, and my mother pretty much forgot what had happened. But Sammy the father never did, he was always civil to me but he knew that I knew it was something he just couldn't forget or forgive and that was fine with me as well. Now, I'll tell you why I did what I did. As far back as my memory will take me it was always important to me that fathers and mothers loved their children. Why was this important to me, why did I need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, sorry but I have no clue. Maybe it was something in my childhood, I truly have no idea. However, what I do know is that I wanted to know if my blind cousins father loved him. Keep in mind I was only 8 years old. That day on the beach when I saw Phillip and his Dad, I watched and wondered and made the foolish decision to find out. I knew throwing the water on Phillip was mean but the answer was more important to me. So I threw it right in his face, can you imagine throwing a bucket of water in a blind boys face! Trust me here when I say if Phillips Dad could have gotten away with burying me alive in the sand he would have. He was absolutely furious. And that was exactly the reaction I was hoping for, if he didn't love Phillip he wouldn't be angry. So guess what, in my 8 year old head I was happy, happy for Phillip, so happy that Phillip's Dad loved him. My mother near killed me herself, I still didn't care, I was happy happy happy - Phillip had a Dad that loved him and I had proved it!

Some of you are wondering if I have a point here, I do. Till this day I'm not sure of what conclusion my mother came to about why I did what I did. When it happened did she ever ask me why I did what I did? Nope. Not once. Did we ever have a heart to heart about why I did what I did? Nope. Never. Granted this was in 1958 and the parents of then were a lot different than today's parents. When your child misbehaves take the time to find out why he or she did what they did. Sometimes the explanation will shock you. Finding out why doesn't excuse a childs behavior, but it does give the parent the opportunity to offer some understanding and wisdom. Ciao (chow)

Manners

Can we talk about manners for a minute or two? Simple little words that make such a difference, for example please, thank you, no thank you, yes please. How hard can it be to teach a youngster these four simple terms. And yet, so many of the young people today have eradicated these words from their vocab. I'm not saying all of them but way more than you or I would care to admit. You know I have to go back to "training." Children are not adults in little bodies, I'm going to say this again. CHILDREN ARE NOT ADULTS IN LITTLE BODIES! Please remember they are children and in Proverbs it states that "foolishness is bound in the heart of a child." So when children do foolish things it is our responsbility to teach them, not scream at them, teach them. Simple enough? So then why don't we? Or rather, why we do think we are teaching them and yet if we take a closer look we are not. Parents spend a lot of time keeping their children busy and this is a good thing, keeps them out of trouble. Sports, art, music, dance, horses, and so on. This is all great, however these very seems kids need to know the basics first. Bump into one of them and let me know if they say excuse me. How many 12 year olds hold the door for someone? I could give a hundred examples but I believe you've got the picture. If little Johnny was playing in a soccer game and punched little Billy in the face on the field what would happen? Johnny would be in big trouble, but if you asked Johnny if he would like some ice cream and he replied, "yea" that would be acceptable. These are two extremes, however, when we teach our children to use words like please, thank you, no thank you, yes please, what we are really teaching them is respect for other people. And when children respect other people they also respect themselves and will be respected by others. It is a wonderful circle being created. Do you understand what I'm saying here? Had little Johnny been taught simple manners from the beginning chances are little Billy would not have gotten a black eye. Let me put it another way, children are not going to know social behavior, unless we teach them, it must be taught. Teenagers answering adults with a grunt. Young children in a restaurant completely out of control. Somewhere along the line we have forgotten simple manners and teaching social behavior. We clothe our children, educate them, fix their teeth, get them their shots, take them to Disney World, give them cell phones, Wii, internet, sports, music lessons, dance lessons, personal sport trainers, boy scouts, girl scouts, art lessons, WOW! Honestly, when is the last time you asked a child or teenager if they would like some ice cream and they answered, yes please. Not yes, but yes please. Take some time and listen to your own children. Are they using the four simple terms? How do they behave in public places? When they're 16 and its time for their first interview for a summer job you are going to wish you had taken my advice. Listen to your children for a few days, if you don't like what you're hearing do something about it. HOWEVER, before you listen to them, listen to yourself, how often are you using the four simple terms? If you want change then change. Ciao (chow)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bare feet

A few blogs ago I talked about common sense, and the more I think about it and look around in my day to day life, it's true, common sense seems to be at an all time low. I'm not quite sure if it's the world we live in. I know many mom's are working, the day is long, blah, blah, blah. However, can someone tell me why the other day while shopping in the grocery store, (I bought a bedroom set, just kidding) but grocery stores sure have changed. Anyway, I'm trying so hard to stay on point here. Why, while shopping I saw a 10 month old in the shopping cart, cute as a button with no socks. This was at 8am, no kidding it was about 60 degrees, I was wearing socks and sneakers, and a jacket. The mom was wearing socks and sneakers and a jacket, the baby was dressed properly for the weather, except, for the bare feet. And to make matters worse I saw her again in the Lenox china aisle (just kidding, about the china) AND she had taken the baby and put her in the grocery part of the cart and the baby was standing up holding on to the side of the cart (this is how I figured she was about 10-11 months old). Standing in that filthy cart with her cute little cold feet. Why? There have been so many times, I've witnessed this. I'm sure baby will be fine, but that's not the point. Is this a lack of common sense, stupidity, (the mother looked intelligent, she bought the same bedroom set I did, just kidding). If my readers would just think about this and look around when you're out, you'll see what I've been seeing for years. Nevertheless, I have no idea why. Please parents dress your babies accordingly. According to what? THE WEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ciao (chow)

Monday, September 22, 2008

Don't look back

When baby first comes home, from the very beginning, day one, mommy and daddy are adjusting. I'm speaking to first time parents. Whether you've been married for 9 months, or 9 years or even 9 days (I hope this isn't the case) your life as you knew it will NEVER be the same! It's over, kiss it goodbye, but oh it's so worth it. Even though you have mentally prepared for parenthood, read the books, the nursery is just about finished, this is what you've waited for, planned for (in some cases). Lets take me for a moment if I may (like who's gonna stop me it's my blog) in reference to the planning part. My husband and I were married in 1970, we found the cutest little apartment where we grew up in South Philadelphia (Go eagles!). The landlord was a decent woman in her seventies but as mean as a pit bull. We were petrified of her, but the apartment was clean, cute and what we could afford (99.00 a month, utilities included). She offered to have all the rooms painted in the colors we liked AND new carpet was going to be installed also in the colors of our choice. Obviously, she wanted long term renters. However, there was one stipulation - NO CHILDREN absolutley no children. We informed her we weren't planning on having children for the next five years, we were going to save money, do some traveling, buy a house, etc. We were married in October and I was pregnant by February. What were we going to tell the pit bull? It took us until June to finally get up the nerve, well actually we had no choice, I was beginning to look like I was on a mega dose of steroids. We did tell her, she smiled, wished us the best, and I will never forget her next words, plain and simple, "Get Out!" So much for planning.

I really did get off track here I have a tendcncy to do this, a lot! Anyway, your life of course will change and honestly some things you will miss, like taking a shower with the door closed, opening a cabinet that doesn't have a child proof lock, walking out the your front door with just your purse, just little simple things that are pretty much GONE! Nevertheless, so worth it.

Don't look back, this is what some of you planned for, however, there are some of you that did not. Either way baby is here, to stay. If you're very young you'll grow together, if you're older share your wisdom. Relax, breathe, enjoy, hide your lipstick. Everything will be okay, love, love, love, your new baby and you're new life. Will you make mistakes, yes! Will it be okay, yes!

I truly loved being pregnant, and I know you are going to think this is nuts, but I loved giving birth, I love being a mother, and I love being a grandmother, I love being a mother-in-law - all the time? No. Most of the time, yes! Ciao (Chow)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

TRAIN (it's a little long, but worth the read)

If you've been reading my blogs you'll remember a few blogs ago I shared a verse from Proverbs, "train up a child in the way he should go....... (if you don't know the rest of the verse you will have to go back and read my blog entitled "The tree").

I did some research on the word "train." Many times we read or hear words and we think we know what they mean and we do to a certain degree, but let's look at this word just a little bit deeper. These definitions for the word train are found in the Merriam-Websters Dictionary.

train - create by teaching, instruction in preparation for a particular role, train by instruction or practice esp. self control, prepare someone for a future role, teach/supervise, train to grow in a certain way.

Parents assume (and I was one of them) children will know what to do or how to do it just because. This is so false. I would like to share a personal story for example.

The first time and I literally mean the first time I had any concept of money I was sixteen years old. Can you imagine? The high school I attended found jobs for students during summer vacation and I was hired as a switchboard operator (the switchboard was the one with the headphones and wire plugs). At this point in my life (remember I was an only child and had OCS (only child syndrome) my mother decides to teach me about money, the entire lesson consisted of just a few words, "Save your money" that was it, beginning and end of the lesson. Periodically she would throw it out there, "Save your money." My first pay check was $167.00 and keep in mind this was in 1967, 41 years ago. I don't remember but it probably covered about 3 weeks worth of work. Well, when I saw that check, I popped a gasket, you would have thought I struck oil. My father cashed the check for me due to the fact that not only did I not have my own account, I didn't even know where the bank was. That money was in my wallet for about 12 hours at most, and you got it, gone, gone, gone, I spent it faster than a speeding bullet! And continued to spend money in this fashion well into my late twenties. Did my parents ever take me to the bank, open a savings account, show me how money add's up when you save, teach me about earning interest, take me to the bank with birthday money, graduation money, NO! they never did. Granted, some 16 year olds know what to do, I wasn't one of them, I needed to be trained in the area of finances. I believe things would be different today if my parents didn't assume I would learn the lesson from just "Save your money". And you wanna hear the really sad part, I did the exact same thing with my own children. You think it would be the opposite, but it wasn't. Do you see how training your child will trickel down to your grandchildren. Don't assume your children will know when, what and where, teach them, show them, supervise them, prepare them for life. Life will teach them but it can be very cruel, if you teach them it will be bathed in love and this is so much easier on them and you! Ciao (chow)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

exciting news!

Great news, in a few short weeks due to the volume of emails I am receiving in response to my blog I will have a website. Stay tuned for more information and in the meantime keep emailing ljscanz@yahoo.com I love hearing from all of you. Ciao (Chow)

thanks nina

Nina, you are such a faithful reader of my blog, thank you. Your comments are very much appreciated. I couldn't have started this without you, your help was an integral part of getting me underway. Love you much, Linda

dick meet jane

People, people, people, i'm speaking mostly to the younger crowd here, those married about 10 yrs or less. Take it from someone who's been married for 38 years, parents especially mom's can get so wrapped up in their children but dad's as well, 20 years fly by and one morning at the breakfast table the mom looks up at her husband and has to say, "Hi, I'm Jane who are you?" And Dick replies, "I'm Dick do we know each other?" It seems outrageous but I know you know what I'm talking about. And this brings us back to my prior posts when baby is a newborn, the four hour feeding schedule, the sleeping through the night in their crib, not your bed. Daytime should always be for baby, not catching up on your scrapbooking! The dishes will wait, the housecleaing will wait, the laundry will wait, I repeat daytime is for baby, however, nighttime is for Mommy and Daddy. Keep the bond you both have going, like a Certificate of Deposit it grows and grows, so should your relationship. Trust me on this one...the children WILL grow up and LEAVE. And guess who's left at home, Dick and Jane who should be more in love at this point than ever before, looking at their children, not mom's children, not dad's children, but THEIR children with pride and joy in their eyes. It takes work, dedication, and committment to each other. And always remember children learn mostly by what they see, when they see both of you loving on each other, it brings security and a great foundation for their own future. A special note to the Dad's. "The best thing a father can do for their children is to love their mother." Read that somewhere but have no idea where, but it's good isn't it? Ciao (chow)

The tree

My grandmother was a little italian lady standing about 4''11" so when I say little I mean it. Her hair was pure white and long not that anyone ever actually saw her hair it was always in a bun at the nape of her neck. Her hands always looked tired as did her face, she was very olive with big dark brown eyes. Never worked outside of her home, and raised 7 children. When we would visit she would kiss my entire face starting at my forehead and worked her away around, I always felt so loved when I was with her. And cook, oh my, the woman could cook, her dinners were incredible! When John was born (my first born) she told me a story, she said, "Grandmom (that's what she called me) children are like trees, when you plant a new tree you can bend it and get it to grow anyway you want, but once the tree is grown it is unmoveable. Bend him in the right direction and remember you don't have much time".
People, don't wait until your child is five or six it will be too late. Teach early, experts over the past 10-15 years tell us consistenly that children from one to five yrs of age are like little sponges absorbing everything they see and hear and are taught. Take this thought with you today, Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it."

24/7

The first three weeks of a baby's life they pretty much sleep 24/7 . At three weeks it ends, forever! Their world now begins to operate like ours, meaning, daytime and nighttime. A day is 12 hours and I will use 7am as their wake up time. From 7am to 7pm your baby should sleep a maximum of 6 hours, I know this sounds like a small amount of time but the key here is to understand the amount of time they sleep in the nightime. From 7pm to 7am they should sleep for 12 hours (except for the 30 minutes when they have their last feeding at 11pm) your baby should be eating every four hours at this point. If you are using the 6, 10, 2, 6, 10 then the last feeding is at 10pm. If you are using the 8, 12, 4, 8, 12 then the last feed is at midnight, 7, 11, 3, 7, 11 last feeding is at 11pm. The 9am, 1, 5, 9, and 1am is not an option, if you think about these times they just don't work the last feeding would be at 1am. I recommend the 7, 11, etc. After every feeding that takes 30 minutes it's time for sleep. Here's the daytime routine feed, burp, change, love and kisses, sleep (7:30am) at 9:30 your baby is still sleeping, wake baby up and keep him awake until 11:00am, from 9:30-11:00am is only an hour and a half. Good time to bathe, or go for a walk, hug, kiss, love on the baby. Lay him in his crib, for 5 or 10 minutes let him look at his mobile, he or she eventually will begin to occupy himself using his senses, sight, sound, etc. At 11am trust me baby is hungry, and tired an hour and a half awake time is a lot for a baby, feed baby, etc., by 11:30am baby should be back in crib. Follow this rountine for the remainder of the day. One more time so I know you understand. 11:30am baby is back in crib, at 1:30 you wake baby up at 3pm you feed baby and then sleep and at 5:30 you wake baby up feed at 7pm and you are done for the day. At 7pm baby now sleeps all the way through to the 11pm feeding, wake baby up at 11pm feed (this should be the quietest feeding you want baby to eat and go right back to sleep this is not the time to stimulate baby) back to sleep and sleeps until 7am. Should baby wake up in the middle of the night, check baby, let baby know you're there, if at all possible don't pick baby up, and DO NOT FEED THE BABY, they do not need this feeding any longer. In three nights your baby will be sleeping through the night. I've done it, it works!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ciao (Chow)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Keep a journal

I really wish I had kept a journal during the time by own children were growing up. I didn't. And anyone out there with children, nieces, nephews from the age of about 3 yrs and up, say and do the funniest things. You really think you are going to remember them but you won't and if you haven't started a journal it's never too late; unless you're me of course and with my youngest now 25 years old what would I journal about, the eating habits of the young and restless! And, all a journal involves is about 10 bucks and a few minutes a day to eventually own something priceless you and your family will enjoy. Don't procrastinate go journal shopping now, you'll be happy you did. There are only a few stories I remember about my children and if I may I'd like to share one of them that I cherish with you now.

We decided to take a trip to the zoo with our three youngest children, Maria was 7, Michael was 5 and Adam was 3. Someone had given my husband a parking pass and as we were driving through the lot looking for an empty spot Michael the 5 yrs old said, "Daddy, there's a spot" my husband replied, "Michael, that spot is for the handicapped people." Michael responded with a very simple, "Oh." We circled around again and Adam our 3 yr old said, "Daddy, there's a spot" as he pointed to the exact same spot. At this point before anyone could say anything Michael the 5 yr old said to his brother, "No Adam that's for the handicapped people we're the Scanzano family." Hope this made you laugh if even just a chuckle. Ciao (chow)
p.s. Really wish I had kept a journal.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Feeding Baby

From start to finish a feeding should take 30 minutes, I repeat from start to finish, whether your baby is breast fed or bottle fed. If you already are in a situation where your baby is taking an hour or longer at a feeding you can make some simple adjustments and turn it around. Just apply the following suggestions. When baby first comes home remember their world is about to change, they've been asleep for nine months! At their first at home feeding 99% of the time after about 5 minutes of eating they fall asleep. Within the hour they are awake and crying, mommy feeds again and rightfully so the baby is hungry. Same thing happens, these times of course will vary but baby is ususally eating every two hours but most of the time even less. Do this for an entire day and guess who's tired? Yes, mommy. Do it for a couple of weeks, guess who is really tired? Yes, mommy. It doesn't have to be this way. Try this. Let's say first feeding is at 2pm. Next feeding is 4 hours later at 6pm. Next feeding is 10pm and so on. Baby now is eating every four hours. You ask how is this possible? I'm about to tell you. At that first feeding (2pm) baby eats for 5 - 10 minutes falls alseep, wakes up within two hours - Do not feed baby. Wait until 6pm do whatever you can to stall - hold them, bathe them, just don't feed the baby. Guess who's hungry? Yes, baby! They will eat longer this time therefore will not be hungry in 10 minutes. Doesn't this make sense? It's so simple. Do this consistently and in just a few days your baby is eating every four hours. In the beginning if you can't hack 4 hours, feed in 3 and a half (no sooner than this). This only takes about a day or two before baby eats like a champ at each feeding. The baby will be hungry when feeding time comes around that first day. They will eat a lot more, resulting in a happier, satisfied baby. If breast feeding the first 3 weeks should be 10 minutes on each breast after that 20 minutes on the right and next feeding 20 minutes on the left. At 3-4 weeks the middle of the night feeding (2am) gets eliminated (I'll get to that at another writing) so the first feeding of the day should be 10 minutes on right and 10 minutes on left and then 20 minutes right, left for the remainder of the day. During the first 10 minutes of breast feeding the baby gets 95% of their milk after that your breast can become a human pacifier if your not careful. Never is their a need for baby to be on breast for more than 20 minutes. If you need more specific information just send your question to ljscanz@yahoo.com Ciao (chow)

Italian families

My family is Italian, mother, father, mother in law, father in law, grandparents, great grand parents, you get the picture. In 1971 our first son was born, it was a time when the baby got passed around the dining room table like a bowl of spaghetti. I swear my grandmother tried to give him a meatball when I wasn't looking. Now here I come, the rebel, telling this group they couldn't pick him up when he cried, he wasn't going to have any solid food until he was 5 months old, never would he have water (as an infant), and he wouldn't be wearing shoes until he was a year old. Talk about upheaval, I think they wanted to have me committed, raise him, and bring me out of seclusion when they thought it was safe. However, I stuck to my guns, it wasn't easy it's been almost 37 years later and there is still an aunt that will not speak to me. They bought him outfits that if I would have put them on him he would have looked like a tiny Dinty Moore. What's up with that anyway, even today I see infants that weigh about 12 lbs wearing jeans, a plaid shirt and work boots. They look like chimpanzee's. Didn't mean to get off track here. Anyway, your family, no matter what nationality will give you advice, pick him up he's hungry, put him down he's tired, feed him, feed him, feed him. Stick to your guns, he or she is your baby. They eventually will come around to your way of doing things, my family did and if my family did there is hope for you! Chow

3 days

If you have started something with your baby and you wish someone would have slapped you on the back of your head and warned you not to, take a chill, you can fix it! Babies and toddlers are intelligent, resourceful, and resilient (strong, sturdy) and of course absolutely adorable. However, remember it's the last adjective that gets most new parents/parents into trouble. Babies are going to have to cry a little in the beginning (1st three years) or you and your husband are going to cry, a lot, later on. Whatever negative situation YOU have created just STOP and in 3 days it will be over. I started a job and the hours were 9 to 5, about 6 months later the hours were changed to 8:30 - 5:30 with lunch remaining the same at one hour. Day 1 truly seemed like I was working into the night, I got home and went to bed. Day 2 was a little better, not much, but better. At least when I got home I made it through dinner. You know what Day 3 was? It was me accepting it wasn't going to change, it wasn't going to go back to 9 to 5 and I learned to live with it. It is the exact same thing with a baby or a toddler, once they accept, realize, understand, you will not be rocking them at 3:00am they get the message and it only takes 3 days for this to unfold. I've done it with my own children, it works! I watched a young couple on Prime Time or a similar show and they were at their wits end with the cutest little 18 month old who just kept waking up 2 - 3 times every night. They were literally exhausted and PAID 500.00 for someone to help them fix the problem THEY created and guess what, in 3 nights that 18 month old was sleeping through the night. I'm telling you it works, and you're getting this wealth of information for free!!! You are a blessed people! Chow.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

ignorance

This next post is not meant to insult the intelligence of new parents. However, I have to call a spade a spade. In speaking with new parents over the years some of their comments are truly lacking in common sense. e.g. This was spoken in reference to a 10 day old baby - "He just hates his cradle" - a 3 week old - "She loves the car" - 3 week old - "She loves to sleep on my wifes chest" - 4 week old - "He loves to sleep in his car seat, he just hates his crib"! You get my point. How in the world of common sense does a newborn "hate" anything. What in the world are new parents thinking? I have actually met parents that put their baby in the car and drive for two hours so the baby will nap? I wonder what our grandparents did without car seats? Or swings, or mobiles. Think about this and I mean really think about it. When a baby cries and is picked up and stops on a dime, is anything hurting them? When a baby is hurting from anything - hunger, diaper rash, etc. you can not get them to stop crying until the hurt goes away. If a new mom has a toothache and her husband picks her up will that make the toothache stop hurting? Lets go new parents put your thinking caps on you've been sitting on them instead! Written with much love, Linda. Ciao (chow)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

structure

Good morning! Decided to write again today. The basis of my expert advice comes from one word "structure". You know in real estate their motto is "location, location, location" well mine is "structure, structure, structure" balanced with tons and tons of love and quality time you can't go wrong! Here is a story I would like to share. A study was done with a kindergarten class. Everyday they went out to the school yard for recess. A fence surrounded the school yard and when the children would run out the door of the school onto the school yard they would scatter all over the place, running and having fun. The fence was removed over the weekend and on Monday when the children were sent out, same school yard, same procedures, all of them just kind of stopped and huddled in the center of the school yard. Their STRUCTURE was removed leaving them confused. Children need structure and thrive on it! Think about it, when you put things in order in your adult life how much better do you feel? When you know exactly what your going to be doing it actually clears your mind allowing you to function at a higher level. Thanks for reading I hope it helps. Ciao (chow)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My children

I raised three boys and a girl. They range in ages from 36 years to the youngest who is 25. And the love of my life is Victoria my granddaughter who is 3. Victoria is the daughter of John and my daughter in law Michelle. All of my children were breast fed on a four hour schedule, slept through the night at 3 weeks old, off the breast by 9 months (replaced with a sippee cup). Were great eaters not drinkers - e.g. juice, juice, juice, all day long - this was never the case in my home. Raising them was a joy and I love each one of them dearly. My pediatrician was a genius and trust me my advice will work. You don't have to walk the floors at night, your baby doesn't have to sleep in a car seat, and most of all your husband doesn't have to be afraid to sneeze if the baby is asleep. Oops almost forgot a very important person in my life, my husband Mosey as I affectionately call him, his name is Michael and we have been happily married (most of the time) for the past 38 years! Ciao (chow)